The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth – Chapter 13 – The Law of Modeling

We become like the people we admire and the models we follow. Modeling is essential in learning and growing. Choose your models wisely as well as the people you listen to.

You must be selective in who you choose as a mentor. Dale Carnegie once said: “As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do”.

Chose a Good Mentor. When first starting out, don’t shoot too high initially. Choose a person you look up to that has plenty of experience. Look about two to three levels above you, as this person can answer most immediate questions.

Choose Someone with Proven Experience. As a Chinese proverb says, “To know the road ahead, ask those coming back”.

A Good Mentor Possesses Wisdom. Mentors with wisdom help us to solve problems with their understanding, experience, and knowledge.

A Good Mentor provides Friendship and Support. Choose a person that believes in James S. Vuocolo’s saying: “Great things happen whenever we stop seeing ourselves as God’s gift to others and begin seeing others as God’s gift to us.”

A Good Mentor is a Coach Who Makes a Difference in People’s Lives. A coach is someone who carries a person from where they are to where they want to be. They listen to you and guide you on your path. A coach will see your strengths and will enable you to use them to your best ability.

When choosing a mentor, be clear of the person you want. Write down three to five thoughtful questions, the answers to which will help you significantly.

Make sure you chose different people for the different areas of your life. No one person can advise you in matters of marriage, parenting, spiritual growth, personal disciplines, hobbies, and business. Choose to follow different people for long-term and short-term goals.

As you look for models and mentors, take this word of advice. Oftentimes, people look good from far away, but when you get to know them, you discover qualities you don’t admire. If that happens to you, please don’t allow it to discourage you. There are plenty of people out there who have integrity and who are worthy to be respected and followed. Keep looking for them and you will find them.