The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth – Chapter 8 - The Law of Pain

Chapter 8 - The Law of Pain

Everybody Has Them!

Life is filled with ups and downs. The problem is what most of us want is ups and ups. That’s not possible. You have to have realistic expectations when it comes to pain and problems. You can’t avoid them.

No One Likes Them

No one likes it when they are in the middle of a bad experience. It’s usually just painful. But if they manage the experience well, then they enjoy talking about it afterwards.

Few People Make Bad Experiences Positive Experiences

When we have bad experiences, do we become better or bitter? Wil those experiences limit us or lead us to grow?

If you are dedicated to growth, then you must become committed to managing your bad experiences.

The trick is to turn your pain into gain

1. Choose a Positive Life Stance – Be positive about your attitude, assumptions and expectations you have. You need to be optimistic, cheerful, trusting, friendly, brave, generous and giving. “Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference” Virginia Satir. To a large degree, you get what you expect – not always, but most of the time.

2. Embrace and Develop Your Creativity – Creativity begins at the end of your comfort zone. When you feel the pain of bad experiences, creativity gives you the opportunity to turn that pain into gain.

3. Embrace the Value of Bad Experiences – Facing difficulties is inevitable. Learning from them is optional. Whether you learn is based on if you understand that difficulties present opportunities to learn and treat them accordingly.

4. Make Good Changes after Learning from Bad Experiences – “Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced” James Baldwin. When bad experiences create strong feelings in us, we either face the feelings and try to change or we try to escape. It’s the old fight or flight instinct. We need to train ourselves to fight for positive changes. We can train ourselves by remembering that our choices will lead to either the pain of self-discipline or the pain of regret. The next time you find yourself in the midst of a bad experience, remind yourself that you are on the cusp of an opportunity to change and grow.

5. Take Responsibility for Your Life – Your circumstances don’t define you! No matter what you have gone through in your life – or what you are currently going through – you have the opportunity to grow from it.